Hot off the presses, something new from Barry. Yes Obama has announced an even newer economic plan. This one is newer than his last newer ones, making it “newerer”. He appears confident that his surge in the polls is reason for him to begin making bolder policy statements. And he is being clearer in how he will rule America. Let’s just hope that this surge doesn’t work.

The salient points of The Obama Plan are bulleted. My comments are below each bullet:

· First, the Obama plan would extend a temporary tax credit of 3,000 dollars for each new job created in the United States by firms over the next two years.

So let’s get this right. Obama is willing to give businesses a “tax credit”. Well piss on my head and tell me it’s raining, but isn’t this a tax cut? Isn’t cutting taxes what McCain proposed? And isn’t cutting taxes what Obama says we shouldn’t do for business...or anybody productive for that matter?

So I was fiddling with the math, and I am guessing that businesses will be hiring our abundant undocumented workers with this $3K. Because $3K doesn’t go very far in America, as far as workers' pay goes. Even illegals know they can make more than $3K a year. Let’s check my math. Multiply by 14, divide by 3, carry the 2…it just doesn’t compute. So my scheme would be to fire all my workers before the new policy took effect, then rehire them!

· Next, the Obama plan would permit families to withdraw up to 10,000 dollars from their retirement accounts penalty-free, and create a new lending facility for states and localities to have access to funds beyond the frozen credit markets.

It is a wonderful idea for people to pull their money out of the stock market at a time when the market is low. Sell low, buy high. What a great strategy! And what about the time value of $10K over the next 20 years? Using the ‘rule of 70’, and the 17% average gain in the Dow, well your $10K would be worth about $320K in 20 years! Just look at the rally that happened in the market today. Imagine if this policy had gone in effect yesterday, and people pulled their money out of the market, likely to buy spinning wheels for their pimped SUV? Why don’t we just buy some “bling”, and look good in our poverty, sacrificing $10K now for $320K in the future? Think it won't happen?

Note the second part of the bullet above, i.e. “…create a new lending facility for states and localities to have access to funds beyond the frozen credit markets”. I can see the headline: “Financial Crisis: Round Two!” For a guy who is supposed to be so smart, Obama is about as sharp as a cafeteria meatball. Are there unfrozen credit markets? Are these markets basking under a Tuscan sun, while the frozen credit markets are training for the Iditarod? There is no credit market for people who don’t or can’t pay their bills! Lenders are funny that way, exception being Obama’s United States of Socialist America!

· Finally, the newerer Obama plan would impose a 90-day moratorium on the threat of foreclosure for homeowners who are trying "in good faith" to keep up with repayments to a lender benefiting from the Wall Street bailout passed by Congress.

I found this one really funny. Banks can’t threaten borrowers in default for 90 days. Our leader is filing a protective order against our mortgagers, who in many cases were forced by the Obama lobby to make the suspect loans to begin with!

And how would you like to be the mortgager, given this well-defined, clear cut definition of “…in good faith”? I’m curious as to how Obama plans on measuring “good faith” in people trying to pay their mortgages? “Yo Dude, what I owe? Fitheen hundard? How ‘bout I send you one-fitty, and hit you on the back end?” Will this be like Section 8(a), where the homeowner will pay only say $150 on a $1500 monthly mortgage, leaving the government, pardon me, the taxpayers [it ain’t the government’s money!] to pick up the rest? Personally I think this may be Obama’s true motive. Turn Section 8(a) rent subsidies into ownership subsidies. Let’s all say this together: “Reparations”.

This same thing is happening in France, where people who are making $100K+ per year are not able to live where people earning $20K are living. Yes, you read that right. If you make $20K in France you can get government-subsidized housing, in neighborhoods where the so-called rich cannot afford to live. Yes, the lower-income folks are getting enough subsidies to “live larger” than attorneys and doctors in France. And the backlash is beginning in France, as it is in other European countries.

A glaring omission in The Obama Plan is the lack of accountability that says to qualify for delay in foreclosure proceeding, you can’t own a car whose rims or stereo system are worth more than the vehicle. You can't be sporting diamond grills, wearing $150 name-brand tennis shoes and $300 throw-back jerseys. You must show complete accountability of your income, the same as if you are filing for bankruptcy. You can’t have cable TV, cell phones, iPods, and other "bling". And you must be up-to-date on child support, etc.

The truth is Blacks smell blood in the water, and it tastes like white meat chicken. And I can tell you from my discussions with my Black people, Blacks are voting for Obama on the “Poverty Plank”. Translated – Obama is going to hook up Black folks and stick it to White folks. Racist, classist warfare is being fought with the surgical precision. And all this from a man who couldn’t pour piss out of a boot, if the instructions were in the heel.

That’s my rant!

© 2008 Kevin Jackson – The Black Sphere All Rights Reserved

Obama's Economic Plan - Satire