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Saturday, November 01, 2008

Joe The Plumber - Fired!

A Tale of Two Plans

Plan One – The Obama Plan

Not long after The Messiah's chariot landed in Joe's neighborhood in OH, and Joe met The Messiah, face to face [http://theblacksphere.blogspot.com/2008/10/messiah-visits-average-joe-satirical.html]. In this short dialogue, The Obama Plan, aptly named Trickle Up Poverty was "outed". As a consequence of, testament to, and confirmation of The Obama Plan, Joe has joined the ranks of America's unemployed.

Yes Joe Wurzelbacher, aka Joe the Plumber has been fired from the company he considered buying. Apparently all the buzz around Joe was just too much for Joe's employer. Or perhaps he didn't realize that old Joe was planning a hostile takeover? With the dissection of Joe's life, maybe it was the fact that Joe wasn't licensed, that got him fired. Or maybe the fact that Joe was a little late on a tax payment, and considered a media pariah? Or maybe the owner of the company is an Obama supporter (shut yo mouf)?

If so, he surely could not have an ambitious hard worker in his midst. He would employ only malcontents who would complain about working conditions. Perhaps Joe didn't want to be union? Why deprive three people the chance to do the job that one could easily do. Regardless of the raison d'etre, Joe was let go unceremoniously; "…kicked to the curb", as we say in the vernacular.

Asked about the firing of Joe the Plumber, Obama stated, "…I haven't officially heard this. Uh, but if it has indeed happened, then I have three things to say: ONE, I am happy to see that anybody who, uh, would dare question my policies would come to, uh such a fate. TWO, I am delighted that my policy of Trickle Up Poverty, uh, redistribution of wealth is beginning to take hold, because I like being a Gangsta. And THREE it is uh, a wonderful development that my policies to help Black America, uh, I mean The US of KKKA, uh, I mean America has squashed the dream of one White oppressor, uh, White man, uh unfortunate American. This young man's, uh, inability to buy his bosses plumbing company will pave the way for some undeserving welfare recipient to have that possibility, though he or she may not even have the initiative, uh, or the desire to uh, buy the company. Because as you know, uh, I am all about the possibilities."

Plan Two – The McCain Plan

With Joe's unemployment due to The Obama Plan, Joe seized the opportunity and signed up for the McCain Plan. So instead of bitching and moaning about his cavity search into his past by the Obama operatives, Joe decided to take advantage of his theoretical demise, the hopeful outcome of the Obama supporters. And Joe turned being "rear ended" by the Sodomobamites [look it up!] it into a positive thing.

So he hit the campaign trail with McCain/Palin. As it is said that Joe has received over a thousand marriage proposals, and he is apparently going to be releasing a country music video. Now I don't know if Joe is considered good-looking enough to get "…over a thousand marriage proposals", as answering that is "…above my pay grade". But he has. So I say, there is opportunity for Joe with the ladies. My advice Joe, is "Go Kerry" on these babes. Go Kerry? That means marry rich, biotch!

As for the country music thing, I don't know if Joe can sing, as I may not be the best judge of talent. I will leave that to the Simon Cowell's, Randy Jackson's and Paula…(well not Paula) of the world. But whether Joe can or cannot sing is not the point, when you consider the likes of Bob Dillon, Neil Young, Bruce Springsteen, i.e. pick your Liberal, establishment-blaming musician of choice. Personally, I find all of the aforementioned to be talentless, yet they all have a wide audience. But in consideration of Joe's talent, I hearken to William Hung of American Idol fame.

Recall that William Hung was one of the worst contestants ever on American Idol, and he released a hit song called, "She Bang". My feeling is that William must be a Republican, and if so, I proudly accept his goofy butt. You see, William took what could have been an embarrassing situation or certainly demoralizing situation, and he capitalized on it, as in capitalism. William is the definition of Capitalism personified, aka The American Dream. We have all these Blacks running around trying to get "record deals", and here is a guy with literally no talent, making no excuses, and just getting it done! That is The McCain Plan executed.

So here's the wrap:

Yes, Joe's story is a dichotomy of two potential outcomes. He could have bought into The Obama Plan, where he would be unemployed, sitting at home in his underwear, with Cheetos-stained fingers…depressed. His home up for foreclosure, his wife and kids having abandoned the "I Have a Dream-believing", Nascar-loving, big mouth knucklehead who dared to question the ideas of The Messiah.

Leaning forward, head in hands, reeking of Jack Daniels, Joe would be rubbing his numb face and bald head, rethinking that fateful meeting. Poor Joe, as he would be affectionately known, would be lamenting how he went from playing catch with his son in his front yard, content with his dream of owning a company some day, to sitting alone in his bank's home, contemplating using the .45 that sits atop the latest issue of Nascar Weekly, next to the empty bottle of 'Tennessee's finest' on his coffee table.

But Joe didn't succumb to The Obama Plan, choosing instead The McCain Plan. Joe "William Hung-ed" Obama, and decided to opt for more, for better. Joe would not let Obama the Dream Killer become his nightmare. OK enough with the cheesy metaphors, right!

The point is that Joe tapped into other possibilities, and used his interaction with Obama to become energized to even more possibilities that existed within him. To this I say about Joe, "He Bang!"

That's my rant!

© 2008 Kevin Jackson – The Black Sphere All Rights Reserved


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4 comments:

t.t.k. said...

Kev, once again, you nail it squarely on the head.

Batman said...

Great stuff, as always, but two questions....

1) I thought the Nascar Dads were the counterpart to the Soccer Moms that supposedly got the Dems elected, most notably, Clinton, AND

2) I looked everywhere, ok, in two places for Sodomobamites, but couldn't find it. Did I look in the wrong place?

DJohn said...

As usual my friend you are the "light" in a "dark" world and yes, the pun is intended! Nice job!

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