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Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Haiti Gets a Former US President – And He’s Black

"The real first black president" –Bill Clinton—is getting seriously dissed with a mission to a country that is struggling economically and is a known hot bed for HIV/AIDS. Assigning Clinton as UN Special Envoy to Haiti is tantamount to putting a crackhead in a room full of tainted crack—pardon the pun.

Haiti is a country with somewhere around 75% of the population lives under the poverty line, and is ranked 146 of 177 in the Human Development Index (2006). Come to think of it, these statistics from Haiti remind me of the economic situation in Arkansas when Clinton left the governor's office…to start pimping America!

Because of his support of Obama's campaign however, Clinton likely imagined getting a cushy assignment in some Caribbean country and living in an Oceanside resort. There were some potentially spectacular choices. I would have narrowed to either the Dominican Republic or Trinidad, finally settling on Dominican Republic to work on my Spanish. But Clinton negotiated Haiti. I'm curious as to which Clinton did the negotiation on this assignment?

I have to believe that this was a pre-election negotiation by Obama separately with both Bill and Hillary—all parties thinking they made out like bandits. I imagine Obama's conversation with Bill went something like this:

Obama: Bill, if you are willing to throw your hat in the ring and support my candidacy, I will do two things: One—I will get you away from Hillary. Two—I will make sure that she is too busy to be all up in your business.

Clinton: That's not enough.

Obama: OK Bill. In addition to my offer, I am willing to appoint you special UN envoy to a TBD Carribbean nation. You will see Hillary so seldom, you will forget what she looks like.

Clinton: That dog'll hunt, Hoss!

Obama: Deal! But don't call me Hoss.

Obama then arranges a secret meeting with Hillary that went something like this:

Obama: Hillary, if you will throw your support my way, I am willing give you a high level position within my administration.

Hillary: That's not enough.

Obama: So what else do you want, Hillary?

Hillary: I'd like Bill out of my hair; but I want him to suffer.

Obama: How about I make him a UN envoy to a "Caribbean nation?" [wink]

Hillary: Barry, [wink] that would make Bill happier than a tornado in a trailer park.

Obama: Deal! But don't call me Barry.

Here's the wrap:

The idea that Bill Clinton can help Haiti overcome poverty is just plain nutty. Consider how Clinton left Arkansas—rode hard and put up wet.

In 2000 Arkansas ranked 50th out of 50 in Education. I'm no linguist, however I believe in technical terms…that sucks! And Arkansas remained in the bottom five of lowest median income rankings under Clinton.

When Clinton became president, he took his Arkansas similar approach to Africa—that would be the "I'm just a Hillbilly from Arkansas and don't know scratch" approach. The outcome was the death of 1,000,000 Africans on his watch.

300,000 of those deaths occurred while Clinton was "distracted" with the Lewinski incident. During this time in our nation's history, Clinton put his "spiritual advisor" Jesse Jackson in charge of Africa for a while—reparations as it were; but only for Jackson. After all, Jackson had traveled there to watch Ali fight once. In Democrat terms, Jackson was over-qualified.

Jackson's "expertise" got ~300,000 Africans killed. He was so well liked at the end of his tenure in Africa, that he was warned by an African head of state not to visit his country on his last trip, lest Jackson be assassinated. Jackson had the pilot turn the plane mid trip, and took refuge in Liberia.

As you can imagine, Obama recognizes Clinton's leadership in all this. So Bill Clinton—the man Toni Morrison deems the nation's "first black president"—will now be doing for Haiti what he did to Arkansas; and a few Arkansas women. Though Bill's is mainly interested in unattractive, chubby white chicks, I suspect Bill might show his true 'color'.

That's my rant!

© 2009 Kevin Jackson - The Black Sphere All Rights Reserved


31 comments: said...

Not to be a bytch but whites are truly clueless.Why would they want to help those animals in Haiti astounds me.True real history teaches that those savages killed off anything white from dogs to cats to humans even mulatto's....Anyways just give them a boat so they can drown themselves

The Black Sphere said...

@tinavane - Wow, nice way to begin this one. Let's see where the discussion goes. One would think that getting Clinton is a punishment no country could stand!

Anonymous said...

Rivky Mitzvah at 1:20am May 26

OK, bottom line. what's in it for Bill?

The Black Sphere said...

@Ricky - Thought I answered that. (1) To get away from Hillary, and (2) see (1)!

Black Capitalist said...

This was a particuliarly badly written and illogical post. I understand many people are partisen but we shouldn't let they get in the way of well reasoned and intelligent thought. Dems like Republican had odd policies towards African. Africa wasn't on"Clinton's watch" nor did he appoint JJ as the leader of Africa. Also Africa isn't a country in which you could even appoint a sole leader.

abe benedict said...

Sitting here, just read the article and still trying to decide who screwed whom.
Bill, unsupervised in a foreign country: Will we ever see him again? Will he die a painful death after having sired 1,385,274 children?
Hillary, stuck without Bill to boss around. Will she go after Joe Biden's position, or will she duke it out with Michelle in a bare-knuckle knock down, drag out brawl and make a claim on her man, Barack?
And what of Barack?
Stay tuned to the next episode of "Cheeze and Crackers!"

Maggie said...

It is not nice to call the Haitians animals. I think that they are being punished by having Bill Clinton sent to them.

Actually it did cross my mind that Hillary would be the winner over this one. She gets Bill out of her hair. However, it could be that Obama wants Clinton on ice for another reason. Perhaps he is getting ready to do a double cross on Hilary? - that is speculation and not to be taken seriously.

If he is taking out Bill Clinton in this way I wonder what he has in mind for the "best president evah - Jimmah Carter"

Sam said...

That dog'll hunt, Hoss!Be interesting to see where the comments go.

The Black Sphere said...

@Black capitalist. First Haiti IS a country, Africa is a continent. Bush saved 10,000,000 Africans with his policies, and Clinton killed 1,000,000! Look it up! And don't come back in here stupid!

The Black Sphere said...

@abe - The pit matches are endless, particularly when you have as many potential stooges for display! Ultimately however, Haiti losses!

Sylvia M Sido said...

Kevin..another great article. My heart goes out to the Haitian people. One can only hope the boy wonder spends as little time in Haiti as he does in his condo in Harlem.
Now to see what today brings..maybe you all will end up with Jennifer Granholm, our erstwhile Governor, as the newest member of the SCOTUS. She will do for the sanctity of law what she has done for MI...

The Black Sphere said...

@Maggie - I haven't referred to Haitians as animals. If you are referring to the pick of Bill's dog sniffing his crotch, that is the dog smelling something "new" there. It's not a metaphor for Haitian people.

The Black Sphere said...

@Sylvia - Great comment..."boy wonder." They will be fortunate to have Clinton galavanting elsewhere.

Sylvia M Sido said...

Thanks Kevin..I borrowed the expression "boy wonder" from Emmett of my favorite writers. He has been ragging both the Clintons for years.

Joe said...

As usual, great post, Kevin.

People tend to forget that it was Bill Clinton, himself, who first introduced the idea that he was America's first black president.

That thought was pounced on by conservative talk show hosts and both magnified and ridiculed.

There does seem to be a progression, though: a black man with a white mother and a white father(we think)-Clinton; a black man with a white mother and a black father...what's next?

Personally, I know a lot of Hatians and I think it does them a great disservice to send Bill Clinton among them.

erp said...

Concur that Haitians do very well here. Could it be they haven't been brought up on affirmative action and entitlements, so they just work hard and succeed without any guvmint "help."

Tommi Jefferson said...

When Clinton was running for president I was living in Upstate NY and my grandparents were in OK. When we came down for a visit my grandparents made a point of driving us through Arkansas to show us what Clinton had actually done. Now I live in MO and see first hand how Arkansas is still recovering from the Clinton rule. All I can say is that I feel sorry for Haiti. If they're expecting help they're going to be disappointed.

The Black Sphere said...

@erp - Touche, my friend. I have many Haitian friends, most of whom are doing phenomenally well in the states!

Laurie said...

@Sylvia !! Nice to meet another Michigan girl! I'd love to get Jenny G out of Michigan, for ANY reason at all! I do believe she'd be a moderate jurist though.

@BlackSphere Kev: Great article. I love the scenario with Obama, Hil and Bill, which BTW is entirely probable that that is exactly how it went down.

As for Haiti, oh man! Women of Haiti.. run for your lives!

The Black Sphere said...

@Tommi - No doubt Arkansas is in shambles from Clinton, then Tucker (a crook) ran it! Amazing.

Laurie said...


President Barack Obama named federal appeals judge Sonia Sotomayor as the nation's first Hispanic Supreme Court justice on Tuesday, praising her as "an inspiring woman" with both the intellect and compassion to interpret the Constitution wisely.

"Obama said Sotomayor has more experience as a judge than any current member of the high court had when nominated, adding she has earned the "respect of colleagues on the bench," the admiration of lawyers who appear in her court and "the adoration of her clerks."

Yessss... it's vitally important that our Supreme Court have the adoration of their clerks. OK, so what do we REALLY know about this woman? Good pick? Bad pick?

erp said...

Kevin, why do you think we don't hear more about Haitian success stories? They are natural Republicans and should be made welcome in the party.

The Black Sphere said...

@Laurie - I love the sarcasm. You fit in GREAT here!

The Black Sphere said...

@erp - No idea. Relatively small group, and not very vocal?

Jake K said...

Thanks for the great laugh! I needed it today. Also, I didn't Know M-Obama looked so much like Jevon Kerse.


Constructive Feedback said...

Let's be fair Black Sphere with respect to Rwanda - Clinton did not "kill" these people. Tribalism provoked by an idiot on the radio was responsible.

It is true that Clinton's secretary of state - Madeline Albright set forth a policy that no employee of the State Department shall call the events in the country of Rwanda "Genocide".

The USA received major embarrassment in Somalia and the Clinton Administration was not about to go back into Africa and fight "karazy" with their military that was trained to fight "karate". Short of killing a whole lot of Black people and pissing the Congressional Black Caucus off - their policy was to work the United Nations and PREVENT direct military involvement by the USA at the beginning of the conflict.

As expected, Clinton stated after the fact "I should have done more" and all was healed with "the Blacks" in America by and large.

The Black Sphere said...

@Jake - Glad to make you laugh, friend! Thanks for the visit and the support!

The Black Sphere said...

@Constructive - Hey I call it as I see it. The man did nothing for Africa, and as for my statistics, I didn't make them up. Google Clinton's Africa policy and see what you get. Also, read Zimmerman's book "Shakedown" on Jesse Jackson, and you will get his part in all this.

Bush is said to have saved as many as 10M African lives, and he gets booed at all things black. Sickening at how stupid most blacks are, when it comes to who to support. Obama...I LOVE my deadbeat daddy, and despise the people who loved and cared for me! The Idiot in Charge!

Nancy said...

Why Africa Loves Bush from

Outgoing US President George W. Bush has surprised critics with his approval ratings in Africa. According to the Pew Foundation, Bush has an 80% popularity level in many sub-Saharan countries, even in ones with large Muslim populations. A popular name for newborns in Darfur is George Bush.

The Bush Administration has played a critical role in helping many African nations; ending a 20-year civil war in Sudan, raising the alarm about atrocities and organizing multi-lateral humanitarian efforts in Darfur, as well as acting in an important role as mediator in Burundi, Liberia, Northern Uganda, Sierra Leone, and the Democratic Republic of the Congo after civil wars devastated these countries.

The Bush administration quadrupled financial aid to Africa from $1.3 billion in 2001 to more than $5 billion in 2008. This is scheduled to go to $8.7 billion in 2010, principally for education (primary school enrollment in Africa is up 36 percent since 1999), healthcare, building civil society, and protecting fragile environments.

Brant said...

The next Prez will be a black woman. Both of her parents will be Oriental. Her name will be Sum Ting Wong. She will be, needless to say, a Democrat.

Anonymous said...


This is going to seriously cramp Willie's style. Haiti is nothing like the amber waves of girls gone wild and fruited plains of exposed breasts that he's accustomed to. But wherever there's a liberal, there will be a thong, a cigar, a stained dress and finger-wagging denial. So guard your daughters Haiti. If a white dude with a big grin on his face from the U.S. says that he wants to "feels your pain or something-or-other," RUN LIKE HELL.